Joffa blogs

2005-05-16T21:04:00.000+10:00

A dancin' darlin'

2005-05-16T20:52:00.000+10:00

Now it's later

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman? -- Woody Allen

2005-04-10T09:29:00.000+10:00

Just one pull and ...

2004-11-11T11:11:00.000+11:00

I've been to these countries; you can get a map like this from <http://www.world66.com/myworld66>

2004-10-11T21:06:00.000+10:00

The day after ...

Well I think we'll wake up with regrets very soon ...

... maybe we need a little something stronger than sugar in this...

2004-10-08T10:36:00.000+10:00

Election eve

When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had slept well. I said, "No, I made a few mistakes." -- Steven Wright

Yep, it's that time again... I hope Australians (and the world's Big Brother, USA) don't wake up soon and have to admit we made a few mistakes...

Good ol' boy George has had a distinguished career (not), and is well known for his wit,eg.

"I don't want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful"

Meanwhile, Deputy Sheriff Little Johhnie Howard (LJH) has his chance tomorrow to keep on making godzone into even more of a heartless, paranoid and mercenary place....

He's known by many names, and not liked by most of them it seems..

I for one am hopeful that we've had enough lies and deceit and can get on with the future....

2004-09-23T16:24:00.000+10:00

nuff said

2004-09-21T16:39:00.000+10:00

Spring already.. by any sensible definition

War dims hope for peace -- actual headline

Down here in Oz we seem to run our calendar a bit differently... Spring starts on the 1st of September... that was 3 weeks ago. I believe the rest of the world uses the Spring Equinox...

I wonder what they do in Khazakstan? They probably get married on the first of Spring.

I guess it's all relative anyway. Who knows when we might be mistaken for ants?

At least porn seems to be free still...

2004-06-24T16:12:00.000+10:00

6 months till Xmas..

I remember when I was 4 years old, I told my mother I wanted to be a rock star when I grow up. She said, 'You can't do both.' -- Steven Tyler

... and then some obscure religious sect's hijacked holy day is upon us again...

Have you got any questions?

Speaking of the Simpsons - weren't we? - well, some fans have waaaaaaaaaay too much time... in fact there are waaay too many Simpsons links to be found.

More constructive would be if you spelt your name in nudes or went squirrel fishing.

Think about looking around from the top of the world instead...
get free copies from your coin-operated photocopier!

Testing BlogJet

2004-06-03T11:27:00.000+10:00

It's the third day of Winter here in Oz...

Factoid:

Isaac Asimov is the only author to have a book in every Dewey-decimal category.

2004-03-30T11:09:00.000+10:00

It's been a while ...

Kiddie fridges - just what we need!

Hungry? Thirsty? Cup of tea and a bikkie?

Monobrow.com is about that single thatch of hair that extends from temple
to temple and makes women reach for their tweezers, featuring pictures of the monobrow elite, men who would never consider "manscaping," no matter how out of control the bush becomes. View the Monobrow of the Week, the Monobrow in Cinema and play MonoMatch, a memory game in which players match the famous monobrows.

Morphases lets you manipulate eyebrows, hair, eyes, nose, mouth and chin... add a beard or mustache to that fresh-faced blonde, or flirty eyewear to that punker kid.

Ikea picked an unfortunate name for this attractive workbench.

2003-12-30T10:40:00.000+11:00

It's tiny and it grows!

2003-12-03T10:12:00.000+11:00

Yep it's December...

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. -- Steven Wright

Someone put the words "miserable failure" into google and the first three sites that are listed refer to George Bush -- the second one is the official whitehouse site bio on GWB.

Are you ever worried when you haven't got a stitch on that someone like the FBI has their eyes on you?

Sometimes waving your arms about or maybe waving your legs might get the message across...

2003-11-10T09:32:00.000+11:00

Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes. -- P. J. O'Rourke

Beards are weird. Even a bunch of monkeys typing Shakespeare can't explain the fascination/repulsion of facial hair. Perhaps they're using the wrong typeface?

Mr Strindberg would doubtless have things to say....

An illustrated guide to breaking computers might help.

2003-11-02T13:13:00.000+11:00

November

Album covers that include everything but the kitchen sink.

I guess it doesn't matter if you prefer boys or prefer girls, there's something out there for everyone, especially late at night.

2003-10-21T09:52:00.000+10:00

Memes are a hoax. Pass it on. -- unknown

Somebody here?

Yes, there is.

Not like here.

Are you a handyperson?

Well, build your own stereotype.

Don't slurp your tea - eat it with chopsticks!

If you're still thirsty, go to the for some art...bar

2003-04-30T15:18:00.000+10:00

INFINITE: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that, in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, real "wow, that's big" time. Infinity is so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here.
-- Douglas Adams

In all the INFINITEly weird universe, there's surely room for Weight Watchers recipies?

How about obituaries for the living - a little embarassing I think.

2003-04-29T10:56:00.000+10:00

Just in case you have a maths question, ask the Prime Number Shitting Bear, (akaAlkulukuja Paskova Karhu).

Aren't you glad he's there?

2003-04-29T09:23:00.000+10:00

What do you do if you've reached the end?

Ask the rabbit.

2003-04-10T14:25:00.000+10:00

God exists, if only in the form of a meme with high survival value,
or infective power, in the environment provided by human culture.” --
-- Richard Dawkins, The Selfish Gene

Now is the time to swear like economists!

Think you know your geography?

How about some games to pass the time?

Don't trip the Spacerunner Remember Moon Lander? Well here's Nun Lander

News

You can swap cars for famous gonads, but meanwhile police hunt for The Masturbator who left evidence in several buildings. Descriptions are sketchy... but is it art?

2003-04-08T10:41:00.000+10:00

"If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?" -- Lily Tomlin

So much to catch up with

Origami boulders, top-rated dunnies, oh, and don't forget the little people ...and if you're feeling constructive, why not build a new solar system?

Thinking of Space Junk

I wonder if Found magazine will ever get to include stuff from near Earth orbit?
Maybe after 40 plus years of leaving space junk, some of what you see here are chunder bags from those guys 'n' gals with the right stuff... well, maybe they lost some of it.

Some of the other junk we humans produce should be orbited too, like

But then maybe I'm being too harsh.